Entry #7 -- Doubts

*-- WARNING: DIGRESSION LEVEL HIGH --*

No... I can't turn back now.

I already paid.

But I've been doing some college research. And I ask myself, WHY.

WHY am I taking AP Human Geography?

Well currently I am struggling with some things, and if I had to eliminate one of the following: English, Science, Math, or Socials, it would probably be English or Socials first.

But the thing is, now I feel like I've "ran out" of things to take. APUSH has been inspirational. I know I'll take AP Economics as it sounds very appealing -- but that would be in 12th grade.

And the top top reasons I am now self-studying ...AP Comparative Gov. Is that something I want to do? But most importantly -- is AP Human Geography something I want to do?

I'm just flipping through the book now. I get a vibe. But not a strong one... Why did I even start studying this? Because I was curious as to what it was.

When I am lost...I look to science. Does the subject have science? Now APUSH is a clear exception (and now I attribute that to my awesome teacher who is great :)), ... AP Human Geo does have a bit of science. It's like the humans are the guinea pigs.

Not bad.

But still. No strong vibe. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Previously I would have either given up on it, or pretended that I liked it. But pretending is never real, and I've only learned too well that pretending won't get you anywhere (i.e. the failures of my freshman year when I went to sports and did not manage to get anything because inside, I did not like it).

So I have to look inside. Do I see different types of maps as something I want to study? Well my cynical reply is -- I wouldn't mind it.

But... I don't mind EVERYTHING in that case.

Ooh Fordism. What is that? Oh, the perfection of standardized mass production.

That reminds me -- the thing is, I don't see AP Human Geography as a challenging course. If anything, I would be taking it (initially I admit that I wanted to fit an extra AP in there, but now I doubt it... does it really matter? I really want to take as many APs as 1) I can take and 2) I actually like. I can be pro in the stuff I like).

Side note is that this is somewhat difficult for me, as I like a lot of things <_